


Hand: I Gave It To You So You Could Hold It

by revenblue



Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [94]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Bats, Established Relationship, Haunted Houses, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person, Phobias, Valentine's Day, date fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: "I still don't knowhowyou found a haunted house inFebruary, Perry the Platypus."
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [94]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/746841
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48
Collections: Perryshmirtz Valentine's Day 2020





	Hand: I Gave It To You So You Could Hold It

"I still don't know _how_ you found a haunted house in _February_ , Perry the Platypus. It's the wrong _season_ for it, for one thing," you complain, squeezing his hand tighter. You're not even _inside_ yet and you're already shaking. That's why you have _him_ , for _reassurance_. And because you wanted to spend _Valentine's Day_ with your _boyfriend_ , of course, that's why you let him talk you into it. Even though it was your idea in the first place.

It's not _your_ fault you feel _safe_ enough around him to willingly subject yourself to horror movies. Not that you didn't already _do_ that, but the point stands. Perry the Platypus, your rock, very comforting _aura_. Except when he's punching you, but he doesn't do that _nearly_ as much now.

Not that that's your main worry, when you're here alone. Of course no one else _bothered_ , it's the wrong time of year for one, but you're still a little apprehensive. What if something happens?

He rolls his eyes, pulling at your hand until you follow along after him. Time to go in.

The first thing you see is, well, not much at all, it's _dark_. But he's still holding your hand and you _trust_ him so you let his tug at your fingers lead you through. You even close your eyes because there's no way he's leading you into a _trap_ , that's _your_ thing.

Seeing what was coming was useful as a lawn gnome but you don't _need_ to here, you can hear how fake the noises are if you really listen. You've faced much worse. Like a goozim towering over you, taller and angrier than your father had seemed back then. How you got out unscathed, you have _no_ idea, but now you're tall yourself _and_ you have Perry the Platypus with you, you'll be _fine_. Nothing here can _hurt_ you. If anything _tries_ , it'll have a very angry platypus to contend with.

Which doesn't _help_ when something screams in your ear and you _jump_ , turning to face the cheap cardboard cutout. "Ha, ha, very funny," you mutter to Perry the Platypus. "Go on, _laugh_ , you know you _want_ to, it must be _hilarious_ to see me jumping at _nothing_." Even if it reminded you of the things that would howl in the forest in Gimmelshtump.

All _he_ does is glance up and squeeze your hand, concern in his eyes. Why would he laugh? He's Perry the Platypus, he's heard so much worse from you, and he's never laughed at _any_ of it. If it wasn't for your _dates_ you'd think he didn't know _how_.

"I didn't mean it," you groan, running your other hand over your face. "Look, I _know_ you're better than that, I just... it's still _new_ , you know?" And you're not talking about him being your _boyfriend_ now, although that's _also_ a recent development- Might be _related_ though. He's so good at _listening_ that you actually feel like you're being _heard_ for once, _that's_ what you're still not used to. "I say the wrong thing sometimes, things I don't mean, and I don't know how to _stop_."

He squeezes your finger, and you've spent enough time with him to hear it as the forgiveness it is. Very forgiving, Perry the Platypus. At least where you're concerned. Anyone else and they'll feel the wrath of his fists before they have time to blink, you've seen it, and you do _not_ envy them.

Squeezing back, you sigh. "You'll tell me when I go too far, won't you? I don't want to _hurt_ you- I mean I _do_ but not like _that_. It's only _fun_ when you're _thwarting_ me. Right?"

There's a waver in your voice as you say it, and you're suddenly _glad_ you're the only ones here, because _that_ means there are no _witnesses_ to see you like this. Just Perry the Platypus, and _he_ doesn't judge. That's one of the things you appreciate about him. And the way he gives you one of his usual soft smiles, eyes half-closed, with a gentle nod.

"So are we going?" you say, through the butterflies in your stomach, instead of what you _want_ to say which is thanking him for caring about a useless evil scientist like _you_ even though he doesn't have to and it's not like you deserve it _anyway_. He usually slaps you for that. And he looks _sad_ when he does, which is even worse. Making him sad is _not_ your idea of a good time. As opposed to haunted houses, _apparently_. "I don't think we're even that far in yet and that's just not worth the _price_ of these things." Even though _he_ paid for it, which is nice of him after your wallet got caught in your inator's self-destructing last week. You would have replaced it but it just wasn't a priority when you already had the materials for a month of inators.

Another tug on your fingers and he leads you further in, through a door and into the hall of mirrors these places always have. Not that you go to _many_ , but you've seen enough to _know_ , especially with Charlene, back before the divorce. She always said your terror was _endearing_.

She's not exactly _wrong_. Hopefully. You've seen the way Perry the Platypus looks at you when you watch horror movies together, like he's actually _worried_ about you, and that's, well, it's _nice_ that he _cares_.

Hopefully this part's not that large, because you're not exactly a _fan_ of mirrors. They're not a pleasant sight. Or maybe that's just _you_ , with your _scars_ and your receding forehead and your _nose_. And this is with you all dressed up for your _date_ , too, so this is the best you'll ever look. The distortion isn't much of an improvement either.

Why _does_ he put up with you? It's not like you're _good_ at anything, except maybe _failing_. And _he_ is a suave semiaquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury! He's _way_ out of your league, so why does he _bother_?

Still walking, he looks up at you _again_ and makes that adorable noise of his.

You sigh, wishing he wouldn't do this. It's not _that_ big a deal. "It's fine, Perry the Platypus, I just... I don't like _mirrors_. Too much _reflecting_." In multiple senses of the word.

Rolling his eyes, he speeds up anyway, dragging you through to the other side and through the door, which he shuts behind you. You shouldn't find that as reassuring as you do. Turning to face you, he takes both your hands in his own. His grip is firm and steady, like _him_ in general, and you make an effort to return his smile. How did you get this _lucky_?

"Perry the Platypus..."

So of course that's when a _bat_ flies into your face. You shriek, tearing your hands free to flail at it, cowering in terror. If there's one thing that scares you more than the thought of being alone, it's _bats_.

You don't look up until you hear a comfortingly familiar noise. "Perry the Platypus?" you whisper, meeting his warm brown eyes. He's still _here_ , he's protecting you, you're _safe_. "Is it gone? I- They remind me of _Gimmelshtump_ , with the doonkelberry bats and the- _that_ whole backstory. Ever since then, the sight of them..."

Something squeaks, out in the darkness, and you flinch. You've heard enough bats to recognise their hateful screech. The rest of this place might be fake, but _those_ are _real_.

Cupping his cute little _hands_ around your jaw, he pulls you into a kiss before you can panic, warm and affectionate in a way he usually _isn't_. Except with you. He does this when you're alone and you can't help but melt into him for it, all other thoughts wiped away.

Not even the noises out there, rising in intensity, can drag your attention away. This is _Perry the Platypus_ , your _nemesis_. He's seen all the worst parts of you, your failures and your flaws and the resentment you don't know how to hide, all the reasons everyone _else_ left already, and for some reason he comes back _anyway_. What would you do without him, huh?

Probably mope around your apartment doing nothing. He at least always gives you something to look forward to, whether it's a thwarting or a _date_. And you don't even have to _pretend_ to enjoy it. You've had far worse dates, it's nice to have someone who'll only hit you when you _deserve_ it.

He pulls back, still holding your head in his palms, just enough that you blink into his smiling face. What's he smiling about? Did he _do_ something?

The only thing you can hear is his breathing.

"They're gone?" You can't believe it. That was all it took? "I don't know what you did but thank you, Perry the Platypus, you _saved_ me. Again. You're really making a _habit_ of that, aren't you?"

You suppose you should have expected the eyeroll. And the _kiss_ , fierce and demanding this time, like he's trying to tell you something. Not that you have any idea _what_. You've known him long enough that you can read his expressions, every slight twitch on his face, but _this_ is so much newer and you don't know what to look for yet.

One thing's for sure. "Happy Valentine's Day to you too," you murmur when he lets you up for air, fingers digging into his shoulders. "I'm glad I can spend it with you."

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the _masterpiece_ that is [High School Musical: A Bad Lip Reading](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVQSr8NpjrU).


End file.
